


absence of blue

by xsprinkledheart



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Funeral, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:26:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsprinkledheart/pseuds/xsprinkledheart
Summary: There's green and pink and grey but no blue.





	absence of blue

Sayaka Miki is fourteen years old. She goes to Mitakihara Middle School, and while Madoka and Hitomi would wear a skirt on their casual days Sayaka wears shorts or overalls. She’s tomboyish, with short blue hair and an infectious energy. But she is kind, and likes to stop by the hospital to visit Kyousuke Kamijou so they can listen to classical music together. She reads fairy tales and mythology, and talks about how she wants a happy ending like the hero Perseus or Cinderella.

Now she’ll never do any of that again.

For her funeral she gets a simple altar and they use her school portrait. It rains outside, dripping against the windows and distorting the view outside. It is a small gathering - a small gathering of a few school friends and her parents, and not many others. But it is here that it’s confirmed that yes, Sayaka Miki is dead. They don’t know how she died - there are rumors, though, from when they found her body lying in an empty hotel room - but she looked so peaceful there, almost as if she were lost to sleep.

She looks peaceful now in her coffin and they are all clustered around her, taking in the fact that the girl who talked about how she wanted to become a lawyer or a doctor or a musician when she grew up is dead. She will never get to listen to classical music, never get her ending where the shoe fits, never grow up to compose music or heal the sick.

Kyousuke stands back, trying to balance himself on his crutches. He recognizes some of the faces at the funeral - there’s Kaname Madoka, with light pink hair who cries the hardest. They were best friends, weren’t they? There’s Sayaka’s parents - her father curls an arm around her mother as they stare down at their daughter. Kyousuke stands back because even though he didn’t know (“She hadn’t come to visit me for a while and even though I called her and called her parents and called Madoka I  _ didn’t know _ ”) he still feels like he’s somehow tangled up in the reason as to why Sayaka Miki is here.

“Kamijou?” Hitomi. She is dressed in black for this occasion. Her light-green eyes that always remind Kyousuke of springtime are pink-rimmed from her sobbing. Her fingers are locked tightly together, and she looks down.

A lump rises in Kyousuke’s throat again, and he wipes his eyes before he can start crying. “I miss her,” he says quietly.

Hitomi nods her head. “I miss her too,” she hiccups.

“I don’t know what happened,” Kyousuke says. “And I - I didn’t know she  _ died _ . At first I thought she’d just gotten sick, or that she was away with family, but then - then I tried calling her family and they said she’d gone missing and-”

He stops talking, because each word makes it harder and harder for him to not cry.

“She was my friend,” Hitomi says quietly. “We all used to be much closer when we were kids, remember?”

Kyousuke remembers. He remembers Madoka’s mother taking them on trips to the park for a picnic, or Hitomi’s parents going to the sleek and modern art museum with them.

“Yeah. We were.”

They’re quiet at the funeral, and Kyousuke stops by to offer his condolences to Madoka and Sayaka’s family and he thinks about music and happy endings. Sayaka always chattered and retold the story of Perseus at the hospital, and he’d always listen - she said that one day she wanted to save people and be a hero like Perseus saved Andromeda.

In the end, she was turned to stone by  _ some  _ kind of Medusa - it’s not clear how, though.

It’s a short funeral and at the end Kyousuke’s family comes and they have to take their son home, but he thinks in the back of the car. He thinks about how grey everything is outside, how the thunder rumbles and the rain goes tap-tap-tap against the car windows. He thinks about the missing blue.

**Author's Note:**

> i really do want to write something longer and less heavy for pmmm, but i kind of wanted to take a shot at exploring kyousuke's characterization. i feel like while he definitely has bad moments and while i'm more indifferent towards him, the amount of hate he gets for not knowing sayaka was a magical girl was undeserved. i actually have a lot to say about kyousuke in spite of my neutral feelings towards him - he's okay i guess, but i don't love him, nor do i hate him - including the fact that as much as i love sayaka to bits, the whole "sayaka deserved kyousuke" thing is grating on me. this... this i suppose is because of the fact that if you love someone, you're not entitled to their mutual feelings towards you.
> 
> i guess everyone's entitled to their opinion on a character, but i kind of wanted to portray kyousuke in a somewhat? more sympathetic light here in spite of my more-or-less neutral feelings towards him as a character. thinking about how guilty or sad he'd be finding out that sayaka dies is prime fanfic fuel, and gives me something to do while i work on other stuff.
> 
> thank you for reading this! take care~


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